Static
by Zaskaea
Summary: He watches, always watches, cracking further as he witnesses the suffering his absence causes the other. A smile set in crystal will never be enough. -AU Yullen Oneshot.-


Based loosely on a strange dream I once had. This is totally different from what I usually write, but… I kind of had to.

**DISCLAIMER: -Man is not mine.** I would never have the patience to draw so many wonderful pictures to create a story, even if I want to.

Proof read this myself, so there will most likely be some mistakes.

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><p>Kanda Yuu was a mystery to many; his cold nature frightened off those who offered him warmth, and his words were as icy as his obsidian glare. The man revelled in being alone; it was made clear that any presences that dared to invade the space he had reserved for himself would face no less than a stinging verbal punishment. Kanda was good at such punishments, and the people knew; all attempts to melt his frozen exterior were futile. Kanda's face remained ever the same to them. Uninviting, but most of all resentful.<p>

However, if you watched him closely… as Kanda would enter his office to begin a day of work, his tense visage would loosen to an almost serene state as his eyes settled on the small object he would place delicately next to his computer screen.

This object was a human figurine, a meticulously crafted sculpture of green-tinted crystal. With its hair caught in position that suggested it was swaying in a breeze, the boy stood straight with his hands clasped together on front of his chest as if he were praying.

Nobody knew where it had come from, or why Kanda owned it; it was simply something that was never for questioned, for all knew what would happen if they did.

There was, however, a flaw on the enigmatic little sculpture; a tiny crack that ran over one cheek, creating a scar-like mark that marred his delicate features. Kanda knew he had to be careful; the figure was already harmed, and should it fall, it would be gone forever. He could not let anything fall again… and _he_ could not fall either, not when he was holding the little sculpture. Then glass would break into countless little shards and impale his skin should he stumble, creating a sharp pain to lament its demise.

And so the figure was always in the Japanese man's sight, a gentle smile on the crystal boy's face as he watched Kanda work. The sunlight shining through the window of the office was refracted by the little statue, creating abstract patterns on the table surface.

Those who watched Kanda and his little crystal boy were perplexed by his love of the small object. Although he had never once smiled at it properly before, the way he ran his fingertip along the lips of the little statue was astonishingly gentle, almost as if he was afraid it would shatter to pieces at the slightest touch.

One day, Kanda's secretary had been clearing his desk of loose papers, and had caught sight of the little figure resting by his computer screen.

Something was different, she saw; instead of offering her his usual, warming smile, the little crystal boy's face was drawn into a pained expression, miniature, transparent tears frozen in place on his smooth cheeks. Now the praying gesture held a completely different meaning. He seemed to beg, clutching his hands together in a desperate fashion, tearful and lost.

Before she could investigate any further, however, the woman's attention was drawn to the doorway, where Kanda stood, hands fisted by his sides.

The secretary's horror was immediate; never had she seen Kanda look so angry before. He breathed slowly, too deeply for it to be normal, and it was obvious that the fury on his face did nothing more than mask another emotion he was trying so hard to hide; deep, penetrating hurt.

Kanda's voice broke the stunned silence, and the woman ran, out of his office and out of his sight. And as she ran, Kanda slammed the door and collapsed against the wall, clutching his pounding head as his expression finally matched that of his begging figurine.

Were he to hold the statue now in his state of anguish, surely he would do nothing but lose himself again… and in a hand driven by uncontrollable pain, crush the delicate little figure into a million pieces in his shaking hands.

On the desk, the crystal boy's hair continued to blow in an imaginary breeze, his wide, glossy eyes staring ahead of him into nothingness.

Rain began to patter against the window, and Kanda sobbed.

_Beg you not to cry… for if you do, then I must too…_

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><p>The wedding of Lenalee Lee and Lavi Bookman was a grand event; the scent of flowers filled the humid air, and the theme of white simply reinforced the glowing rays of the sun.<p>

Kanda sat alone during the reception, confiding himself to a table in a far corner where he could sit in silence as he sheepishly removed petals from his hair.

Narrowing his eyes at the figure, he felt a pang of anger strike his chest. The little crystal boy was standing next to the flower arrangement in the middle of the table, and Kanda had set him down so that he could see everyone else as they danced, ate and celebrated the union of two of their friends.

The little figure was smiling again, his hands still entwined together tightly. Now he appeared to be clasping them together in a motion of delight, just as a mother would when her daughter approached her with the little flowers she had gathered.

Kanda could not help his reaction. Jealously was an ugly thing.

Having had enough, Kanda gently turned the boy so he was facing him. Now the figure was smiling at him and him only, and Kanda's eyelids drooped as he immersed himself in the strange emotions created by such a joyful expression.

A man with fiery red hair in a white suit approached his table, removing Kanda from his thoughts. A hand was set down on his shoulder, and to the surprise of many who saw, Kanda did not move at all.

A petal came floating down towards the wooden surface, swaying back and forth as it landed. Kanda and the other man watched with melancholy eyes as the pink, confetti-like plant came to a rest on the head of the crystal figurine, almost like a hat.

Now the boy's smile appeared to indicate a giggle; childish and pure, oblivious to all else.

The petals that caught in Kanda's hair following that moment were not removed, not even when the man in white opened his remaining hand to closely watch the crystal figurine of a slender girl with Asian features shatter to pieces in his palm.

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><p>As Kanda slept, calm, colourless eyes watched his chest rise and fall with every breath he took.<p>

Kanda was peaceful, and completely at ease. Turning around in a dreamless sleep, little crystal hands stayed folded together like those of a guardian angel watching over a child in their slumber.

The figure's mouth showed a smile, now seeming more serene than playful, mirroring the state Kanda resided in as he lay tangled in his sheets.

And as the moonlight reflected gently off the boy's glass surface, the crack on his cheek became the tiniest bit longer.

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><p>Crystal hands no longer closed together as a sign of contentment. Now they joined in an almost awkward manner, as if their next move would be to part and have their thumbs twiddled.<p>

Transparent eyes stared ahead, even if they didn't want to; they could look nowhere else, and now they were set on the shaking figure of Kanda Yuu as he brought himself closer and closer to his peak. The smile was gone, replaced by a vacant expression that spoke of sorrow and regret. Some could have mistaken it for one that concealed boiling hate, although there could have been a thread of truth in such an assumption. Kanda knew that the figurine was looking his way, and he wanted it to see every move he took.

A further stroke caused a strangled moan to erupt from his throat, and the empty eyes looked on, almost hopeless as the crack below them widened, tainting the once perfect features further.

As Kanda collapsed onto his bed, forehead pressed against his snow-white pillow, he let angry tears momentarily stain the soft fabric. His movements were tired as he turned to face the window, and the man gritted his teeth with painful emotion as he saw how absolutely blank the boy had come to look.

Once again, their expressions met in their nature, and none could even attempt a smile as the sun continued to rise to the early hours of the morning.

Kanda fisted a hand in his hair, barely containing his burning frustration.

What else was there to do?

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><p>Summer was a time of warmth, sun and freedom for those who wished it, but Kanda's fingers continued to endlessly hammer away at his suffering keyboard. The figure watched with a small beam on his face, hands now clutched together in a content, perhaps proud manner as his static eyes stared at the working man with an unusual intensity.<p>

Even as the door opened, he continued to stare, gaze eternally locked in the same direction.

The secretary spoke; a visitor was to arrive, and Kanda ceased with his typing to shoo her away before he reached for his tie and put it back on. As the guest's footsteps began to sound from the hallway, time slowed down.

As the visitor appeared in the doorway, an imaginary mirror placed itself between him and the figurine; their smiles matched as one, and Kanda's heart stopped as he finally came to witness the true thing once again.

In his hands, the guest held a human figurine, a meticulously crafted sculpture of green-tinted crystal. With its long hair caught in position that suggested it was swaying in a breeze, the man stood straight with his arms clamped to his side in a defiant manner.

A single crack marred his chest, appearing like a morbid type of tattoo on what was meant to represent skin. Kanda did not move as the visitor set the figure down beside his own. Together they stood, similar in nature but so different in their expression, both flawed and yet so beautiful.

Waiting not a second longer, Kanda stood to embrace the other man, drinking in the smile he had seen for so long and yet not experienced as it should be.

And as the two men kissed, the little figurines shattered into a million pieces on the desktop, their shards mingling together into one mass like tiny, glittering grains of sand.

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><p>Themes: Reunion, Rebirth, Finding each other again. I hope this was not confusing. My mood was odd when I wrote this... that's why it's... I don't know. Weird.<p>

Anyways. Won't force you to review, but it's always nice if you do. :)

~Zaskaea


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